Our family just completed one of the most difficult seasons of life. We could not be happier to have this chapter closed and behind us!
Our youngest son, James, was re-diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma in December of 2010. To be exact, it was December 21, 2010. The reason the date is important is because it was one year earlier - December 21, 2009, that he was diagnosed the first time.
When the results of his PET scan were shared last year, we honestly did not have words to describe how we felt knowing that James would have to endure yet another round of grueling tests, treatment, and of course, the unknown. His oncologist shared that this course of treatment would include three more powerful regiments of chemotherapy and stem cell transplant. To be honest, the concept of stem cell transplant seemed like a dark hole that I didn't understand, didn't want to understand and certainly didn't want James to have to endure.
Within five weeks, the three chemotherapy treatments were hugely successful and James was in remission. His doctor was overwhelmed with how quickly the cancer was put to rest. It was hard to really celebrate this, because we knew that stem cell transplant would begin next. However, we were soooo thankful that James was in remission.
We had to relocate our family to Denver for six weeks while James went through the stem cell process. It's like a weird science of sorts in the way they harvest his stem cells, freeze them, then return them to his body. A weird science we were so thankful for as well!
The word "intense" mildly describes the six weeks we were in Denver while James was hospitalized for transplant. It seemed that everyday presented new, and quite intimidating challenges. The risk of infection, the side affects that could present as a result of the transplant and the chemotherapy he received, fevers, rashes, etc - became the urgent subject of the day. It was odd how simple things like a slight fever moved from being "normal" to severe if they presented because of the implications on James' immune system. All of which were out of our control - but were trusted into the hands of Christ, who remains in control when we are not.
I felt like our family was in a six week triathlon of sorts. Each day, new hurdles presented themselves, and we had to be in the "game" and keep going, no matter what. Through this season, we prayed, we trusted, we questioned, we feared, we cried, we laughed...we focused. The focus was on our Father, who loves James more than we ever could, and trusting that His ways are perfect and His plans for James' life are larger than test results, side affects, cancer...etc. That was the hard part.
James completed his six weeks of transplant and has recovered amazingly well. His recent PET scan (2 wks ago) showed that his body remains in remission. The young man that emerged from the fight of his life, is mature, confidant in Christ and steady in his faith. He was accepted to a ministry position internship in Houston Texas and has moved to begin this new step in his life. We are thrilled.
When James moved to Houston, I wondered what I would do with my life? We'd been through such a tumultuous time...now what? It was almost instantly that we went from doctor's appointments almost daily - to being released with only a three month check up.
I love teaching women how to "walk in a manner worthy of the Lord" in pursuing the plan and purpose God has for them...with stilettos, of course! I realized that this new season without cancer, tests, etc. was a season for me to also step into a new season asking the question, "What now, God?"
I truly believe that life is planned by the Almighty God. I believe that He walks with us, goes before us and cheers us as we step into His plan - even if His plan involves difficulty. No matter what is happening through circumstances in life, God remains in control. The secret is to trust God's heart - even when the circumstances or my logic doesn't align.
A new journey calls for new stilettos! I'm not sure how the Lord intends to use the past 2 years of trials, but I know that no pain is wasted. I also realize that our life circumstances don't define us, but the product of what we allow God to do - or don't allow God to do, through the circumstances always will.
The desire of my heart is to remain a woman who loves the Lord, who knows His love for me, and to walk in a manner worthy of my calling...no matter what. I am so thankful for my husband, George, who intensely loves our family and remained in prayer through this time and led with such strength and love. I am thankful for Jessica and John Mark who also prayed, trusted and stood with their brother through this time. I am thankful for our family - who loves the Lord and all of us so much. What a blessing family is! Our precious friends who texted, called, prayed and believed with us are so priceless to all of us. I am thankful for our church and leadership who loves our "tribe" and remained faithfully focused on praying us through this.
This new season holds many amazing things, I believe! I cannot wait to see what's next and how God will use this time of testing in all our lives.
In my NEW stilettos,
Steph
