The Calm in the Midst of the Storm

During the series of events last week, I was reminded of Jesus' encounter with the disciples in the boat...during a storm. What's interesting to me is that Jesus slept during the storm while those around him panicked, operated in fear and tried to solve the problem themselves. However, Jesus slept. He wasn't sleeping lightly - the disciples actually had to go below and wake him up in order to help with the storm surrounding. He slept. He rested. He knew that God was in control of the wind, rain, lightening and thunder. He slept. Others panicked.

This past week has been a storm. There's really not another way to capture the week rather than simply stating the truth. It was hard. It was painful. It was surreal - but also very, very tangible.

James had a week of tests, more tests, blood work, two surgery procedures and finally the first chemotherapy treatment. It was a storm. We are in a battle, that is very clear. We are challenged to trust the Lord and stand firm in who He is in the midst of this. While we stand in faith of the power of Christ to deliver through this, in our hearts / emotions we fluctuate from hope to fear at times. It's the "what ifs?" that cause the fluctuation.

Watching our 20 year old son navigate through this new present reality has been both painful and amazing. We have seen the fruit of James' personal realtionship with Christ bring strength to himself as well as to others who are watching. We have received emails of both those who have cancer and those who are healthy that have been encouraged by his approach to this diagnosis.

When in a storm, we think it's wrong to question or wonder why we are experiencing the hardship. I believe that questioning the "why's" of our storm can be the most powerful time as a believer. Why? Because when we are vulnerable with our true self as we bring those concerns before the Lord, asking the hard questions, we are then forced to wait for His answer. His answer is always filled with peace, purpose and destiny. Those answers provide the strength, courage and faith we need in order to take the next step in the journey.

When the disciples woke Jesus, it doesn't say that he was angry with them for asking for help or for being fearful. It was a REAL storm! He simply replied, "Where is your faith?". In other words, Jesus is reminding them of who He is, how powerful He is and reminding them of that very truth. There is no way Jesus would have been asleep if he thought that the disciples lives would have been endangered. That would be in opposition to the very heart of God. He reminded them to trust - not fear. It's difficult when in the moment to forget that God ultimately knows the outcome and can be trusted. He is a good Father. He is faithful, true and knows nothing other than integrity to who He is.

That truth speaks loudly as we are in this season. I have shared with others that we feel as though we are in the eye of the storm. The calm and peace are surrounding us while this situation is raging around us. It is the "perfect" storm, in my opinion.

The bottom line is...God is in control. He is not pacing, wringing His hands together in fear over this situation with James. He is resting. He is at peace. He is interceding for us. He knows what He is capable of performing in this storm.

My hope at the end of this journey is that we all come out of this refined and more filled with an understanding of peace and provision of Christ that we have ever known. The young man that I dedicated to the Lord 20 years ago still belongs to the Lord. We cannot surrender and control at the same time. (although I would like to:)

Thank you for your prayers in our journey. We had great news in the bone marrow results - no cancer in the bone! Amen and hallelujah! James is still in Stage 3 Hodgkin's - but we are thankful that it is not Stage 4. God has shown himself mighty in this!

Walking through the storm...in stilettos, of course!
Steph