Dream Squashers and Fire Ignited!

I had a very interesting revelation the other day. I was working on a new marketing project for the ministry and had to submit database information from the contacts I’ve had since being in ministry full time. It was a time consuming project – but something I needed to do. For a couple of days, I went through contact after contact, putting it in a format to be used for our database. This is actually the first time I have done any “official” type of marketing in seven years. Most of my conferences come from word of mouth and referrals. As I was going through past information, I ran across emails with announcements for events I sponsored, testimonials, etc. It was wonderful re-experiencing the ministry start up and appreciating how things have grown. As I reflected on the early days, I remembered waking up in the middle of the night to write down ideas. I remember the passion and excitement involved. As I thought about this time, I realized that while the past eight years have been very fulfilling, there was something missing. It was my drive to accomplish what God wanted me to accomplish. This passion to teach women through conferences has been a long time dream. I remember sitting in meetings while in my full-time job wondering when I would be able to teach like I felt God was calling me to teach. It’s as if my heart would ache to be able to realize my dream. However, I also knew that I was in the process of being prepared for the next step. That preparation time was critical – but really painful. I have always hated waiting. I would often think, “When, Father…when do I get to do what you’ve called me to do???” I was still in my “holding pattern” when God spoke to me about being ready. I was taking some time off from work to heal from a surgical procedure I needed. Weeks before the surgery, the Lord said, “I’m going to open doors for you, Stephanie.” I became interested in this word, but I cannot say that I believed this word. I guess my zeal began to dissipate and I started to believe that this dream would never become a reality. To be honest, I didn’t take this word seriously at all. While recovering at home, I received a phone call from a Pastor friend of mine. He asked me if I was available to teach a women’s conference at his church. I was excited and of course said, “Yes!” When I hung up the phone, I thought, “Wow! That was weird! What a coincidence!” No sooner did that thought leave my mind when the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart and said, “Stephanie, didn’t I tell you I was going to open doors for you?” I was quiet as I reflected on the word God had spoken to me weeks prior. The Holy Spirit then said, “You need to stop pretending to be something other than what I’ve called you to be. Walk in a manner worthy of your calling.” That word stung. I knew that the Lord was speaking about my nonchalant attitude regarding the calling He placed on my life. I made up my mind that from this point forward to be obedient and to “walk in a manner worthy of my calling”. I had no idea how God was going to put the ministry together, but I had an idea of what it would look like once in motion. It was the same vision I had for several years. What I didn’t know is that God would call me to begin this ministry as a single woman. Three weeks after this encounter, my husband of almost 19 years died very suddenly from an aggressive form of leukemia. My world was rocked to say the least. In my realization of a new world I was living, I believed that my dream died also. I could not even imagine how God would use anything from this time of grief for good. And, to be honest, I didn’t want the dream anymore. I really thought that my calling died and I wasn’t interested in resurrecting it. About a year into God’s healing of grief, He began to speak to my heart again about “walking in a manner worthy of my calling”. I remember saying to the Lord, “Haven’t I done enough hard things already? I mean, seriously?” God continued to speak telling me to trust Him, rely on faith and fulfill His calling in my life. Saying that I was resistant hardly expresses how I felt. After many months, I finally said, “Okay – I will trust you!” The Lord directed me to resign my full time job and begin the ministry. Let me point out at this time I had no conferences scheduled. I had nothing. But, through the months of God speaking to my heart, He ignited the fire of passion in my heart. I have to say, it was the hardest thing I felt God requiring me to do. I resigned from my job and spent time in prayer for the doors God promised to open. The first thing I did was establish a prayer team. God placed several friends on my heart to be part of this team. Within two days, I had a conference booking, a radio interview and a television programming opportunity. I was shocked! God was not. I realized that I could trust the Lord to open doors and provide for me. I had a vision of reaching un-churched women. God gave me a vision of hosting events and inviting women, teaching on a topic relevant to women that was fun and sharing the gospel so they, too, could become daughters of God. Again, doors of opportunity began to open. I was still very fragile in my trust and didn’t know who, if anyone would show up at these events. I would wake up during the night to plan, study, dream and send invitations to women God was placing on my heart. These events were unbelievably successful. Women who attended would bring friends and family who did not have a personal relationship with Christ. At the end of every event, many women gave their hearts to Christ. It was an exciting time. Through this, God continued to heal my heart and show me that there is life after grief. I was doing what I dreamed although it looked quite differently than I planned. It was amazing! The events continued to grow and more women experienced Christ for the first time. From these events, I had the opportunity to disciple new Christians at a separate event. As the ministry grew, the word spread and the doors God opened was incredible. I was in shock – but having the time of my life. While I had many people in my life who were so supportive, I was surprised and shocked to learn that there were some who were anything but supportive. Anyone who has ever put themselves “out there” to do something different knows that zeal can be accompanied by people who want to squash your dreams, sadly. The “dream squashers” in my life were people that surprised me the most. I had one “squasher” actually tell me, “I am waiting for you to fail.” I had others who were actually jealous of the success the ministry was realizing. Some "squashers" stopped speaking to me or would talk behind my back in order to discredit the ministry. I was devastated. Those crushing words and actions really knocked the wind from my sails for a very long time. I haven’t thought about these series of events until I was doing this simple database work this week. This realization impacted me on a very deep level. While the ministry has continued to grow and thrive for eight years since these crushing actions, I realized that the fire ignited many years ago has never quite been the same. I’m speaking more about a deep undercurrent where the fear of failure has kept me from being zealous to accomplish many things. I sat quietly and reflected on this and thought, “Where is that fire? Where is that passion? I remember it and I want it back!” It saddened me on many levels, but more challenged me. As I write this blog, it is 4:11am. I have returned to waking up in the middle of night to pray, hear from God and dream again. I’ve realized that the passion God gave me has not moved. I have had to allow God to uproot the words of destruction and choose to focus on God’s calling rather than live out other people’s words of weakness. Eight years later, I can say that I am so blessed to be surrounded by people who also dream big, step out in faith for the impossible. I have an amazing husband who has always believed in me. I serve with godly women who are a great support and are boldly fulfilling their own destinies. I’m so thankful for the reminder this week that the Word of the Lord is more powerful than the words of the “squashers.” What about your passion? What has God called you to do? Are you in process of being prepared for His plan? Who is surrounding you? Are they people of faith and wisdom? Have the actions of others kept you from realizing all God has planned? God has an amazing destiny for you! Let me encourage you to fan the flame inside your heart and run after God’s best for you. Leave the past in the past and “ press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called you in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:14 NIV). Let me hear how God is speaking to you! Praying for you – Steph

Sole Testimonies!

SOLE Testimonies!



Several years ago, I began focusing my conference teaching in the area of realizing one’s personal destiny from the Lord. It has been so exciting to have conference girlfriends share with me, even years later, how they have realized God’s plan for their lives and have begun to “walk” out that plan…in stilettos, of course!

Colossians 1:10, “to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God.”

Personally, this teaching really came to a deeper truth when my son, James, was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma two years ago. I found my “walk” taking me to places I never thought I would go and never wanted to go–especially not with one of my children. What I’ve come to understand in much greater depth is this: Our destiny is not designed by us, but designed by God. While there may be some turns in the road that we don’t expect, it doesn’t mean that God’s plan for us has suddenly changed. God’ plan for us is, in fact, being realized as we walk in obedience, strength, trust and faith though the hard places in the journey.

The morning of our first visit with James’ doctor at Rocky Mountain Cancer Center, I really wanted to wear my pajamas, put my hair in a ponytail and wear flip flops! I was hurting. Our world had been rocked by James’ diagnosis and I honestly wanted to lie on the floor and cry. However, while I was getting dressed, the Lord reminded me of His plan for my life – and for James as well. He spoke to me and said, “Walk in a manner worthy of your calling, Stephanie”. In other words, the plans of the Lord had not changed. He was still in control and at work. I considered this truth and then selected a pair of leopard stilettos to wear to the cancer center! My reasoning? I wanted the enemy to realize that no matter what, we were going to trust God and trust His plan, even if we didn’t understand the circumstance. My stilettos were a reminder of this truth.

For the past two years, I have worn my high heels to doctor’s appointments, chemotherapy appointments, tests, scans, and even during a three week stay during James' bone marrow transplant in the hospital. Me, my stilettos and focus on God’s promise over my destiny and the destiny of my son as well has become the norm of our season.

Recently, I’ve added another element of my stiletto-destiny-walk! In II Samuel, David writes about his stance with his enemy, Saul, and the victory God gave him. David reminds us of the truth that his enemy,and our enemy alike, resides in the same place - under our feet!
II Samuel 22: 34-41:“He makes my feet like hinds’ feet, And sets me on my high places. He trains my hands for battle, So that my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You have also given me the shield of Your salvation, And Your help makes me great. You enlarge my steps under me, And my feet have not slipped. I pursued my enemies and destroyed them, And I did not turn back until they were consumed. And I have devoured them and shattered them, so that they did not rise; And they fell under my feet. “Under my feet” translated means, “under my subjection or rule”.

While meditating on this scripture, I found a sharpie pen and decided to write letters on the bottom of my shoe. I wanted to make sure that the enemy (who is under my feet) could read my message loud and clear! My first message was “C.B.G”, which stands for “Cancer - Be Gone!” The second message I wrote was “W.O.M.D.” which stands for “Walking Out My Destiny!” It may sound silly to some, but to have a tangible way to “walk” in victory and with the promises God inscribed has been a powerful tool in my life!

I’ve encouraged other women who are also facing trials to write similar messages on the soles of their shoes! There have been situations where friends are going through terrible circumstances at work who have written scripture about being a daughter of God on their shoes. There are others who battle fear who have inscribed scriptures about faith. It has turned into a really compelling theme! It makes me so excited to see others standing in victory over situations that otherwise could be devastating. God’s word is SO powerful!

I’ve decided that it would be a fun project to compile these testimonies and photos of shoes into a devotional called, “SOLE Testimonies”. It will feature photos and stories of other courageous women who are walking out their destiny – no matter what!

Are you walking through something that seems impossible? Do you feel overwhelmed by life? Are you experiencing difficulty in a particularly tough season? Or, are you standing in the gap for someone else’s burden? Write your message on the bottom of your shoe and walk out your destiny! Refuse the temptation to feel defeated or forgotten in your circumstance. God has an amazing plan for your life! He has equipped you, empowered you and gifted you to handle this season.

Walk out YOUR destiny…in stilettos…and with a strong message of victory! Send me your photo and testimony! It would be an honor to pray you through your time and see how God works!

In my stilettos!
Steph

Getting Off the Ride and Walking In Victory!

What if we imagined the work of the enemy in the form of an amusement park? This park would be filled all sort of rides and games such as the “Roller Coaster of Insecurity”, “Tilt-My-World with Fear”, “The Bumper Cars of Dysfunction”, “House of Mirrors Reflecting My Past”. While it was never our intention to visit the park, there is something about the rides that just feels comfortable. We step up to the counter and say, “One ticket to the Roller Coaster of Insecurity, please!” We buy our ticket, get on the ride, buckle in as best we can and hope we make it to the end of the ride.

This might sound ridiculous to some. But being a person who has not only bought a ticket in the past, I think I might have held season tickets to some of these “attractions”.

One of the platforms I feel passionate about is seeing women set free from the past and walk out the destiny God has planned for them…in stilettos, of course! I have met literally thousands who struggle with overcoming the past and realizing that God’s heart is for them to live victoriously. Just as important is the realization that we are daughters of God. We are His girls. He loves us. We have such a hard time really embracing both of these truths.

As I was meditating on this, the Lord gave me a visual of an amusement park with the rides I shared above. Not only do we feel comfortable in this type of “park”, we purchase tickets and believe we have to revisit the past over and again in order to really overcome. Weapons from the enemy such as fear, insecurity, shame, guilt, regret, etc., etc. are typically present in this cycle. Not only do we accept this cycle, we choose to then become identified by it.

For instance, when someone who struggles in this area introduces themselves to me they might say, “Hi, my name is _____, I’ve been divorced for ten years”. It’s almost as if “I’ve-been-divorced-for-ten-years” becomes their last name. This always makes me sad because it’s as if they have to reveal their feeling of failure so I won’t judge them. The truth is they are continually judging themselves and have allowed this feeling to failure to become their identity.

Isaiah 43:18-19 (AMP)
18Do not [earnestly] remember the former things; neither consider the things of old. 19Behold, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs forth; do you not perceive and know it and will you not give heed to it? I will even make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.

God is the creator. He is about creating newness and bringing life. He's also the God of forgiveness from our past. He can heal and bring new life from our past. The hard part is our ability to truly take steps to release the past and experience His healing.

If there is something / someone to forgive:then forgive and move on. If there is a relationship that needs healing: pray about it, do what God says and then wait. If you feel badly about your self- image: then act! If there are traumas or more in-depth healing that is needed, seek wise counsel for help. Instead of being comfortable in these areas which bear no fruit – decide to embrace the freedom that comes with forgiveness, walking out your destiny and loving others and yourself! It’s the way God intended us to behave because He loves us and died for us to have this freedom.

And, when the enemy offers a ticket to one of his emotional roller coasters of the past, instead of buckling in and trying to endure the ride – refuse the offer and walk in freedom. Pretty soon the acceptance of grace will become the new way of life.

Stephanie Henderson
Stephanie Henderson Ministries
www.stephaniehendersonministries.com

Forgive and Forget??

Happy New Year! We hope your Christmas and New Year holidays were
memorable. We enjoyed much family time and peace.

Today I'm sharing a piece from one of the new conference series I'm
teaching this year and the book that I'm writing called, "Forgiving
Him...Forgiving Myself" A Journey of Deepening Intimacy in
Relationships. While we are all considering our New Year's
resolutions, forgiving past hurts is a great place to start! Why not
begin this year with a heart of forgiveness?

I'm very excited about this new conference series and this writing
adventure. Writing is a a little intimidating for me because because
grammatical sentence structure is not my forte! But...that's what
editors are for and I am thankful for having a great one. :)

Steph


Forgiving Him…Forgiving Myself

“I believe I’ve learned the most about forgiveness by personally
applying it to the people I thought deserved it the least”.
-Stephanie Henderson

Let’s be honest, there are some people who, we feel don’t deserve our
forgiveness. They have said or done the ultimate sin; they have
crossed the line once too many times and have brought undeserved pain
into the lives of others. We make statements such as, “They should
not be allowed to breathe air!” At the moment of such intense hurt,
we can feel steadfast in one thought, “I will NEVER forgive them nor
will I EVER forget what they’ve done”.

Forgiveness is tough. Period. While this statement rings true, we
also have to realize the ultimate importance forgiveness plays in
moving forward in healing from our past.

You and I have both read or heard, “forgiveness is two-sided”. I
agree that two-sided forgiveness is the best outcome from unfortunate
circumstances. However, biblical forgiveness is actually one-sided.
In order to exercise biblical forgiveness, I (me, myself and I) must
choose to forgive whether the other party ever chooses to reconcile
the relationship or not. Ouch! It’s one sided.

Matthew 5:44 - But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those
who persecute you,
Matthew 5:45 - that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He
causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the
righteous and the unrighteous.
Matthew 6:14 - For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your
heavenly Father will also forgive you.
Mark 11:25 - And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against
anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you
your sins.
Romans 12:20 - On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him, if
he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will
heap burning coals on his head.
Luke 6:35 - But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them
without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be
great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to
the ungrateful and wicked.
Luke 6:36 - Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
Luke 6:37 - "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not
condemn, and you will not be condemned.
Luke 6:38 - Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure,
pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into
your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."
Proverb 20:22 - Do not say, "I'll pay you back for this wrong!" Wait
for the Lord, and he will deliver you.

-Excerpt from "Forgiving Him...Forgiving Myself"

*Stephanie Henderson